Two months into quarantine, my friend Trish, who at times feels more like a sister, asked 50 of the best people she knows a series of questions. I was humbled to be one of them. These are my answers.

Question 1: Change is a/the ____________ . Fill in the blank. You only have 100 characters.

The blender of emotions you dread and crave at the same time. 

How do you know when it's time to make a change?

When there’s a stagnate of curiosity. A lull of adding value to society. A cycle of negative repercussions towards those you love. 

What is something that has been difficult for you to change? Why has it been hard to change?

I have a glass of wine every night. I people please. We are creatures of comfort. And routine. This becomes dangerous when we forget we have the agency to change our narrative, the status quo. Rebuilding my relationship with my mom takes humility, patience, forgiveness. A glass of wine always seems easier. Comfier. Vulnerability, conversations, and practice matter. There's comfort in the uncomfortable. And that is the beauty of change. 

Question 2: What’s most important in your life? These can be things, people, feelings, constructs, ideas, lifestyles, concepts, philosophies, places, values, etc  Whatever is important to you.

#1 Family, in the broadest sense of the term. Family can be blood-related. Family can be soul-related. You’re born into a family, but you choose to invest in the relationships you define as “your family”. Family knows you for you, has seen you at your most vulnerable, and loves you anyway. Family is your sister, your partner, your Oma. Family is your friends, your tribe. Family could be your neighbor down the street, a mentor, or coworker. Family is unconditional. Family is chaos. No matter what, family is created. 

#2 Kindness. Small or big. Smiling at a stranger, listening, paying it forward, compassion, empathy. Kindness truly connects humankind. 

#3 Curiosity. So much too learn, so little time. To me, keeping a curious mind, similar to a child’s, is the foundation of learning, improvement, and humility. Asking the questions, finding joy in listening, researching. Learning new ideas, sitting in different points of view, devouring historical lessons. An example, I constantly go to is simply looking up at the stars and wondering — what type of moon is it tonight? How far do those galaxies go? Every time is a ‘holy shit!’ moment, a perspective shift, a powerful reset of understanding what’s important, and remembering what a small piece of the universe puzzle we truly are. It’s liberating. Humbling. This is what curiosity continues to fuel for me. 

What has changed since you were younger? 

As I've gotten older, I've become much more aware of how much I respect and cherish my family. As a teenager, my ego defined my world, nobody could get in my way, and my family was the last thing I prioritized because let’s face it, I assumed they would always be there. Not the case. As an “adult” I recognize how incredibly special these bonds are. They are not to be taken for granted. They are to be celebrated, every single day. 

What makes something important?

Something you invest your time, energy, and soul into.

What tips can you share for how someone can find what’s important?

Write 1-5 gratitudes or "gifts of the day" as I like to call them. After reviewing a week's worth of "gifts" you may see a pattern of what you've decided to note. This, in turn, may help identify what you find important. 

Give a specific example of how you or someone you know focuses on what’s important.

I carve out inexcusable time every day to 1) connect with at least 1 person I care about, by giving a phone call or sending a snail mail card, and 2) learn at least 1 new fact about the world, through a podcast, article, book, video, conversation, etc.

Question 3: How do you define support?

It doesn't need to be grandiose. It's the small acts of kindness and compassion for those who need a little something or someone to lean on at that moment.

What’s an example of help and support you’ve experienced recently?

Last night I burnt dinner, wild rice almost went up in flames. Mikey, without question or reaction, came into the kitchen, saw the defeat on my face, squeezed my shoulder, and started helping me think through ways to salvage the meal… without burning the house down. We finished cooking together, laughing and dancing in the kitchen. The food turned out pretty well, everyone ate it at least. And that night became a favorite memory of shelter-in-place. 

The subtle small gestures. The ‘knowing’ I was about to crack. Offering a hand as opposed to retribution. Flipped a negative outcome into a positive experience together. 

What’s an effective way someone has helped you or that you have helped someone during this era of coronavirus?

Our neighbor down the street, Marty, is taking care of his wife who recently had a stroked. He makes it out on his porch every night with his walker and little pug Yoda to look at the sunset. We happen to go on walks at the same time. It’s become the perfect opportunity for a little sidewalk distanced chat. One night Marty mentioned that it’s been tough getting applesauce for his wife. It’s her favorite, but he can’t find it anywhere, seems to always be out of stock. Since that conversation we’ve become his “Applesauce Fairies”. Every week we drop off an 8-pack of sauce, sometimes different flavors to shake it up. And every week Marty calls, leaves a voicemail with a gregarious “Thank you! Thank you! She’s eating one now. God bless! See you on the porch soon.” Seeing Marty is the silver lining highlight of every week.

Question 4: Where do we go from here? What issue/problem has coronavirus elevated most in your opinion? 

Economic inequality.

What is the most positive impact of coronavirus in your opinion? 

A revitalized concept of one common humanity. And Mother Nature is getting a little break. 

What do you think will be the biggest lasting impact of coronavirus on our society? 

Vulnerability. The positive and negative aspects of the word in every way. 

What’s most important for us, as a society, to do in the next year?

Rebuild the economy by offering new jobs directed towards environmental sustainability, up-skilling labor, online gig economy, mental health. Allow and encourage philanthropy, business, and policy institutions to work together offering effective solutions particularly across vaccine distribution. Domestic abuse and food insecurity will increase. We need to redefine what the basic human right of “home” means - for the foster kid, for the newly laid-off mom of three, for the abused husband, for the unemployed, for our oh so wise elderly…. 

Mitigate misinformation, foster a society of trust and collective companionship. Teach the next generation of students ways to engage, collaborate, and work together creatively despite being physically apart. Show utmost appreciation and respect for our frontline workers (health, postal service, grocers), both humanly and financially (government stimulus packages). In the US, invest in making REAL equitable change to our healthcare system. Elect a US President of sound mind, compassionate leadership, and collaborative policy proposals, aka get Trump the fuck out of office. 

What can an individual like myself do now to support that? 

In the immediate, have a dialogue, with anyone and everyone. Talk about the future, what it could be, learn different perspectives and be open to the conversations. If we choose to shell up even more than we already have and continue to politicize this pandemic, we won’t find any way to move forward together. Be kind to your neighbors. Vote. Invest in renewable energy initiatives. Support nonprofits working to combat domestic violence, homelessness, and poverty. Lean into volunteer opportunities. Have hope, and act on it.